Today was a long travel day. We left Philadelphia and headed north to bring my daughter back home after our day of doctor visits. We had to go through Philadelphia on our way north and we have lovely friends there who very graciously invited us for lunch. We stopped for a couple of hours and it was delightful. My friend made a yummy lunch that we ate outside on her patio and we spent our time together relaxed and happy. My daughter did well and felt comfortable even though this was the first time she met these particular friends. That stop made a very difficult day much easier to manage. We still had to drive over two and a half hours to my daughter's house and then an hour and forty-five minutes to home. I get by with a little help from my friends and that stop was a huge help.
Friends often ask what they can do to help when they know about my struggles. This weekend my focus was on my daughter, but that doesn't mean I wasn't struggling with my own health issues at the same time. It was enormously difficult to take care of myself while I was tending to her needs. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday. I set my pills, poured a glass of water then my daughter needed something, I walked away then totally forgot to take the pills. I was beyond exhausted trying to pack for our trip and both mornings at the hotel I was pushing myself beyond my tolerance level to get us all out the door. While I was standing and waiting for the elevator to take us to the parking garage I could barely stand up and was leaning on the luggage cart to hold myself up I felt so weak and sick. At the same time my was daughter was spilling her hot chocolate all over herself and getting agitated with my attempts to stop the spillage. We both lost our patience with each other and it wasn't a shining moment for either of us, but thankfully, the moment passed quickly.
There are times when I just run out of give. I have nothing left of myself and in that condition it is impossible to tend to anyone else - even when it's my own daughter who has special needs. I don't feel like mother of the year in those moments, but I also recognize that I am not acting out of a lack of caring or concern, but out of my lack of wellness. You can't get blood out of a stone and you can't get energy out of me when I am depleted. Thank goodness for my hubby and for the people who helped manage my daughter when she was seeing her specialists. My friends who invited us for lunch were life savers, and they probably just saw our visit as something we enjoyed. We enjoyed it, for sure, but I will be certain to let them know that their hospitality made a very rough day manageable and a lot more fun. I need my friends, not to do things for me, but to do things with me. This was a great example of a great friend coming through with precisely what I needed at exactly the right time.
Friends often ask what they can do to help when they know about my struggles. This weekend my focus was on my daughter, but that doesn't mean I wasn't struggling with my own health issues at the same time. It was enormously difficult to take care of myself while I was tending to her needs. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday. I set my pills, poured a glass of water then my daughter needed something, I walked away then totally forgot to take the pills. I was beyond exhausted trying to pack for our trip and both mornings at the hotel I was pushing myself beyond my tolerance level to get us all out the door. While I was standing and waiting for the elevator to take us to the parking garage I could barely stand up and was leaning on the luggage cart to hold myself up I felt so weak and sick. At the same time my was daughter was spilling her hot chocolate all over herself and getting agitated with my attempts to stop the spillage. We both lost our patience with each other and it wasn't a shining moment for either of us, but thankfully, the moment passed quickly.
There are times when I just run out of give. I have nothing left of myself and in that condition it is impossible to tend to anyone else - even when it's my own daughter who has special needs. I don't feel like mother of the year in those moments, but I also recognize that I am not acting out of a lack of caring or concern, but out of my lack of wellness. You can't get blood out of a stone and you can't get energy out of me when I am depleted. Thank goodness for my hubby and for the people who helped manage my daughter when she was seeing her specialists. My friends who invited us for lunch were life savers, and they probably just saw our visit as something we enjoyed. We enjoyed it, for sure, but I will be certain to let them know that their hospitality made a very rough day manageable and a lot more fun. I need my friends, not to do things for me, but to do things with me. This was a great example of a great friend coming through with precisely what I needed at exactly the right time.
We all need our friends & family especially w/any illness. They are our Angels on earth...very much appreciated! I also have Fibro & back problems (Fibro & all it entails is plenty...sleep disorder,brain fog,depression,anxiety,fatigue,pain,pain,pain...shall I go on lol) but bless your soul & God be with you, with a child with disabilities <3, I could not make it...You Are Mother of the Year in my book. Stay strong :)
ReplyDeleteThat is so sweet. Thank you!
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