The first few years after I was diagnosed with fibro and fatigue I was divorced and living alone. I was having a rough time and as my condition continued to worsen, I was forced to take a six month leave of absence from my job. It was frightening to live alone and be so sick. There were days I just never lifted my head off my pillow and I didn't eat or drink anything all day long. Other days I perked up and was able to visit with a friend or spend time with my kids, who were no longer living at home. Week after week I wondered what would become of me. Would I be able to go back to work and support myself? How could I take care of my home alone? What would happen to my relationships when I couldn't be a full participant? Would I get better? I was terrible about asking for help and whenever anyone said they would do something for me I brushed the offer aside. That was probably a mistake. I did what I could do on my good days and saved the rest for another time.
The people closest to me were wonderful during that time and I shudder to think how I would have managed without my daughter and my now-hubby. They seemed to know what I needed without my having to ask. It helped me to maintain just a little pride and to not feel so needy. My main goal for those six months was to get a handle on my health. I had been through a pretty rough time after my Dad passed away and thought that if I could drastically reduce my stress and spend some time focused on getting better I could turn things around. So during that six months I went to a local holistic health center. I started weekly physical therapy sessions as well as aqua therapy in a heated pool. I went for acupuncture every week, I took vitamins and supplements and Chinese herbs and I still I didn't get better. I went back to work rested, but I was still struggling.
What makes me very concerned is that I look back at that time, nine years ago, and I was doing better then, than I am right now. I think it was this time last year. or maybe the year before ( I can't remember) that I took six weeks off because I just couldn't push any more. Early spring seems to be my very worst time of year - I guess the stress of winter takes its toll. I'm hoping things will start to improve and everything I read suggests that fibro and fatigue are not progressive. But it sure feel like it is. I don't know why, I'm doing more for my health than I ever have, but I am just not functioning the way I used to be able to. Even when I was out on medical leave I wasn't as sick as I am now. As a matter of fact, until recently I rarely used the word sick to describe myself. That has changed and I am certain this is not an attitudinal shift. I am still positive and optimistic - I just feel crummy a good percentage of the time. I'm really tired of being sick and tired.
The people closest to me were wonderful during that time and I shudder to think how I would have managed without my daughter and my now-hubby. They seemed to know what I needed without my having to ask. It helped me to maintain just a little pride and to not feel so needy. My main goal for those six months was to get a handle on my health. I had been through a pretty rough time after my Dad passed away and thought that if I could drastically reduce my stress and spend some time focused on getting better I could turn things around. So during that six months I went to a local holistic health center. I started weekly physical therapy sessions as well as aqua therapy in a heated pool. I went for acupuncture every week, I took vitamins and supplements and Chinese herbs and I still I didn't get better. I went back to work rested, but I was still struggling.
What makes me very concerned is that I look back at that time, nine years ago, and I was doing better then, than I am right now. I think it was this time last year. or maybe the year before ( I can't remember) that I took six weeks off because I just couldn't push any more. Early spring seems to be my very worst time of year - I guess the stress of winter takes its toll. I'm hoping things will start to improve and everything I read suggests that fibro and fatigue are not progressive. But it sure feel like it is. I don't know why, I'm doing more for my health than I ever have, but I am just not functioning the way I used to be able to. Even when I was out on medical leave I wasn't as sick as I am now. As a matter of fact, until recently I rarely used the word sick to describe myself. That has changed and I am certain this is not an attitudinal shift. I am still positive and optimistic - I just feel crummy a good percentage of the time. I'm really tired of being sick and tired.
I know it says it's not progressive, but vI beliueve different. Mine is certainly a lot worse NOW than it was several years ago! I can't find a Dr. who will work with me on it! They all think I am a druggie!
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