In some ways, living with a chronic condition is just like spring. From day to day I just never know what I am going to get. Yesterday was sunny, on the warm side with a bit of a breeze. It was perfect weather to take a long walk and enjoy the trees in full bloom and the spring flowers poking out of the ground - so I did. It was wonderful to be outside. We walked in Central Park and I have never seen it before in its spring glory. Lots of other people were outside enjoying the warmth of spring and a hint of what's to come. it felt energizing and it seemed to me that people kept their heads a little higher, they smiled a little quicker and they walked with a bit more pep in their step. It was just about a perfect day. Then overnight, it seemed that the weather was heading more toward winter then summer. It was a complete turn-around and the temperature dropped by twenty degrees, the sun didn't shine and I certainly didn't go walking.
A perfect spring day is a real tease, especially when it is followed by a raw, nasty day.. We all like that time of year when everything seems a bit more relaxed and the days are long and the nights are sweet. It smells good, it looks pretty and being outside in the sun feels nourishing, like food for the soul. In contrast, winter makes me want to hunker down and pull back in. When it is bitter cold, being outside is an exercise in forbearance and not something I seek out. This in-between season give me a bit of both and I begin to take notice about how much the weather impacts my symptoms, my mood and my overall sense of well-being. I like the movement toward the warmer weather - my body doesn't feel so stressed and I love the longer days and the warm sunshine.(I certainly like heading toward summer, but I don't like the extremes of summer any more than I do the extremes of winter). So, I guess I'm sort of a transition kind of person in that regard.
It seems clear to me that the ups and downs of fibro are like the inconsistent spring days. Just like a spring day can go from sunny to rainy to chilly to warm all in the space of twenty four hours, my symptoms do the same. I go from energized to tired, to having pain, back to energized then flat out on the couch in the same amount of time it takes a spring day to run its full cycle. Some days I go out, thinking I'm prepared for the weather with what I'm wearing, but then I find out my jacket is too light to keep me warm or the sweater I chose makes me feel way too hot. I just can't seem to get it right with any degree of consistency. Same is true for my fibro and fatigue. I don't seem to be able to predict or prepare for the kind of day I'm going to have. I suppose I shouldn't continue to be surprised by ups or downs I didn't expect, because that is the true nature of this condition. Aside from knowing what will definitely put me into a crash, fibro is truly unpredictable. But, if I can see it being like a day in spring, unpredictable but heading in the right direction I might be better at living with the uncertainly.
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