This morning I hopped on the train to head into NYC for another doctor appointment. I've been going every week getting an intravenous mega-vitamin, etc supplement and today was a scheduled visit with my Lady Doc. Yesterday I decided to do a mood adjustment and get my positive emotional self back on track. I've learned that one of the best ways to feel better about myself and my own life is to get out of myself and do something for someone else. The train station offered me that opportunity. There was a woman waiting for the train with a seeing eye dog seated next to her. I often see the dogs in training around town since the Seeing Eye Training Center is only a few miles from here. I happened to be right behind her as she was about to get on the train and I wasn't sure if it would be okay to offer any assistance. She hesitated before stepping onto the train and I realized that she was having a hard time estimating the space between the platform and the first step on the train. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it helped her to move forward and board the train with her dog beside her. I felt good that I could be of assistance, even in that small way.
Once we were on the crowded train, the next thing that happened was that she wasn't sure which seats were open and available. Since I was walking right behind her, I was able to help out with that too, I was on a feel-good-do-for-others roll, and even though it was just a tiny little thing, it had me going in the right emotional direction. I felt calm and decided to enjoy the ride on the train. After just a little while though, I heard a not-so-quiet conversation between the ticket-taker and a passenger across from me, Seems a young man was on the wrong train and was short eight-five cents to stay on until the next stop. He showed the ticket guy his tokens and also showed that he didn't have any money in his wallet. After hearing this I, in my I-want-to-be-helpful mode offered the young man the money he needed. The ticket-taker refused my help and told the fella he needed to go the front of the train and deal with the conductor. As the young man walked by, I again offered my help. He declined and that was the end of it. I did what I could.
Imagine my surprise when the ticket taker came back and stopped at my seat to reprimand me for trying to help the young man on the wrong train. He said "those" people know exactly what they are doing. "They" pull this kind of thing all the time. You trying to help, didn't help me do my job. With that he walked away. I was shocked. I don't know if I helped or not, but I do know the way he was throwing around the "theys" and the "those people" comments he wasn't open to listening to this particular young man. I tend to believe people and trust that what they say is true. That young man looked and sounded sincere to me and I wanted to help. Maybe too much. I guess helping isn't always perceived as helping - in this case I tried to help one person and another found me to be clearly unhelpful. This isn't the first time I've tried to help in a situation and I wasn't as helpful as I thought I was being. When I help it has to be what the person needs, not just what I want to offer. I started out my day looking to feel better than I've been feeling and my focus was to get out of myself. I accomplished that, and whether or not I was helpful today, I meant well.
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