Nobody likes to fail but truth be told, we all have our list of times that we considered ourselves to have missed the mark. It is simply part of the human condition We strive, we fail. I know I have a pretty good list of failures and mistakes and there are moments in my life I wish I could take back. There are choices that led me in the wrong direction and I had to correct my course. There have been words I shouldn't have said and mistakes I wish I didn't make. Some of my mistakes were not intentional and some I made even when I knew better. There are situations when I didn't take the high road and circumstances where I could have done better. I tend to be my own worse critic, so I don't usually need to have someone else beat me up over my failings - I do a pretty good job of it myself. But there is another truth - what's done is done.
Even though I can't do anything to change the mistakes I've made, I can do my best to make things right and to show some humility when I see that I have been in the wrong. There are probably times when I have been convinced that I was "right" when the person on the other side of the situation was just as convinced that their truth had more validity. Mistakes can be relative - maybe both sides had a point or maybe the entire premise was off in the first place and both sides were mistaken. I don't know. I do know that each failure I have experienced has been an opportunity to learn, grow, demonstrate perseverance and tenacity and in the end forgive myself. Many of my shortcomings are in areas where I can work on learning, changing and seeing things from a new perspective. The one place I never thought I would experience a sense of failure is in dealing with my own health. It's an area where I have paid attention and worked on making good choices. But I am starting to feel that no matter what I do, I can't get a handle on my health - and that doesn't set well with me.
No matter how many pills I take, potions I drink, activities I avoid or inspirational pieces I read - I don't get better. I don't want to frame this as a failure on my part, but I do feel like the choices I am depending on to heal me are failing. I also don't believe there is better treatment any where else than where I am going. I just think fibro and fatigue are formidable foes. They don't back down and they don't resolve easily. I have a good day and then it is as if the fatigue returns with a vengeance. I have a good few days, but they fade into a fog and here I am back on the couch and out of commission. I fully acknowledge my shortcomings and mistakes, and even my failures - but when it comes right down to it, when I set my mind to something I succeed. I work hard, I stick with it and I am a willing learner. I am used to my effort paying off. So I am having a bit of a time wrestling with my current condition. It may be time to redefine success, set some new goals and aim in a different direction. In the end, my biggest success may be to manage my symptoms, but never succumb to them,
Even though I can't do anything to change the mistakes I've made, I can do my best to make things right and to show some humility when I see that I have been in the wrong. There are probably times when I have been convinced that I was "right" when the person on the other side of the situation was just as convinced that their truth had more validity. Mistakes can be relative - maybe both sides had a point or maybe the entire premise was off in the first place and both sides were mistaken. I don't know. I do know that each failure I have experienced has been an opportunity to learn, grow, demonstrate perseverance and tenacity and in the end forgive myself. Many of my shortcomings are in areas where I can work on learning, changing and seeing things from a new perspective. The one place I never thought I would experience a sense of failure is in dealing with my own health. It's an area where I have paid attention and worked on making good choices. But I am starting to feel that no matter what I do, I can't get a handle on my health - and that doesn't set well with me.
No matter how many pills I take, potions I drink, activities I avoid or inspirational pieces I read - I don't get better. I don't want to frame this as a failure on my part, but I do feel like the choices I am depending on to heal me are failing. I also don't believe there is better treatment any where else than where I am going. I just think fibro and fatigue are formidable foes. They don't back down and they don't resolve easily. I have a good day and then it is as if the fatigue returns with a vengeance. I have a good few days, but they fade into a fog and here I am back on the couch and out of commission. I fully acknowledge my shortcomings and mistakes, and even my failures - but when it comes right down to it, when I set my mind to something I succeed. I work hard, I stick with it and I am a willing learner. I am used to my effort paying off. So I am having a bit of a time wrestling with my current condition. It may be time to redefine success, set some new goals and aim in a different direction. In the end, my biggest success may be to manage my symptoms, but never succumb to them,
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