When I go to sleep at night, I always anticipate a good day when I wake up the next morning. I have never given up on the possibility that each day might be better than the one before. I make my plans as if my day is going to be filled with energy and limitless potential. After all, you just never know what a good day might bring. My optimism has left me open to some very wonderful experiences and I have met some fabulous people because I was willing to stay in the moment and just see what might be next. There is a point though, when my optimism is dashed and I find myself experiencing a day that is worse than the day before and that brings all kinds of stress along with it. I have just finished my third day on a row out of commission. I don't know why, but this has been a tough siege. I figured that after I had a bad day Friday, I was rested enough to enjoy Saturday. After Saturday was spent in a sick fog I thought for sure that Sunday would be fine. It wasn't.
I'd like to hold out hope that tomorrow will be a good day. I figure the odds are in my favor. I rarely have four bad days in a row. But the pressure is on. All of the things I had planned to do over these past three days didn't get done. Friday is typically a slow day because I've been at work during the week and now I have my trip into the city again each Thursday. Usually I do a couple of little things around the house like a load of laundry or two, I go through the mail that has collected during the week, I might pay bills online or make a few phone calls to take care of personal business. Some Fridays I make it over to the nursing home for a quick visit. This Friday none of that got done so it went on the list for Saturday. It's already April and all of my winter clothes are still in my closet. I wanted to get some of those things moved around this weekend. Nope. Not Saturday and not Sunday either. I have three things on my list for finishing our taxes that didn't get done yet. I can't do anything that involves details when I feel this way so my "in" basket looks like a volcano that is ready to erupt. I didn't get to visit with my family this weekend - my hubby went alone. Maybe next time.
My daughter keeps telling me I should get more help but I don't even know what to ask for. On days like this I can't even figure out what needs to happen next. It's not like I live in a gigantic house - it is a manageable size for a healthy person - but not for me. It's all of the organizing and keeping things together that get to me. My hubby does a lot and I do have someone who does some things around the house - I don't know what I would do without them. But all the detail things just spin in my head and don't seem to be able to get anything finished. I felt really horrible for the past three days and I spent a good part of today thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow. This is enormously frustrating and no matter how many times my days play out this way, I will never get used to the lost time and the lost opportunities.
I'd like to hold out hope that tomorrow will be a good day. I figure the odds are in my favor. I rarely have four bad days in a row. But the pressure is on. All of the things I had planned to do over these past three days didn't get done. Friday is typically a slow day because I've been at work during the week and now I have my trip into the city again each Thursday. Usually I do a couple of little things around the house like a load of laundry or two, I go through the mail that has collected during the week, I might pay bills online or make a few phone calls to take care of personal business. Some Fridays I make it over to the nursing home for a quick visit. This Friday none of that got done so it went on the list for Saturday. It's already April and all of my winter clothes are still in my closet. I wanted to get some of those things moved around this weekend. Nope. Not Saturday and not Sunday either. I have three things on my list for finishing our taxes that didn't get done yet. I can't do anything that involves details when I feel this way so my "in" basket looks like a volcano that is ready to erupt. I didn't get to visit with my family this weekend - my hubby went alone. Maybe next time.
My daughter keeps telling me I should get more help but I don't even know what to ask for. On days like this I can't even figure out what needs to happen next. It's not like I live in a gigantic house - it is a manageable size for a healthy person - but not for me. It's all of the organizing and keeping things together that get to me. My hubby does a lot and I do have someone who does some things around the house - I don't know what I would do without them. But all the detail things just spin in my head and don't seem to be able to get anything finished. I felt really horrible for the past three days and I spent a good part of today thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow. This is enormously frustrating and no matter how many times my days play out this way, I will never get used to the lost time and the lost opportunities.
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