It feels great to be young and full of energy and endless possibility. When I was a college freshman I was burning the candle at both ends. I was a commuter student and worked on weekends at a large post office that offered a work program for college kids. I had to be at work at seven in the morning and I finished at 3:30. I was going to class five days a week and had a very active social life. I had twelve-thirty curfew so of course I pushed that right to the last minute and then got up the next morning at six so I could catch the six-thirty bus to get to work. In March I finally got a car so I could leave the house a few minutes later. I felt like I had been given a priceless gift to be able to sleep just a bit more. I was hospitalized twice that year, but nobody ever suggested that I stop pushing so hard. I remember being so tired during that year that I felt sick, but I got up and went to work every weekend and five days of classes for all four years of school.
My senior year of college stands out as one that was filled to overflowing with responsibilities. I did my student teaching for a full semester in an experimental program. While I was teaching I was also carrying nine credits and went to class on Mondays and Wednesdays. I was still working every single weekend because that was the only way I had any money. I was a class officer that year and belonged to a sorority that did a musical performance in the spring that involved weekly practices. I was engaged and planning a wedding without any help from my parents. I was so busy I barely had time to breathe. But I kept on pushing. Nobody said to slow down and I saw no way to stop the insanity. To this day I do not know how I had the energy to accomplish what I did - I can only challlk it up to the endless energy of youth. It is no surprise to me that throughout college I had frequent bouts of IBS, and migraine headaches. I was sick often with one thing or another but I was so determined to live my college life that I ignored as much of my medical difficulties as I could.
My senior year of college stands out as one that was filled to overflowing with responsibilities. I did my student teaching for a full semester in an experimental program. While I was teaching I was also carrying nine credits and went to class on Mondays and Wednesdays. I was still working every single weekend because that was the only way I had any money. I was a class officer that year and belonged to a sorority that did a musical performance in the spring that involved weekly practices. I was engaged and planning a wedding without any help from my parents. I was so busy I barely had time to breathe. But I kept on pushing. Nobody said to slow down and I saw no way to stop the insanity. To this day I do not know how I had the energy to accomplish what I did - I can only challlk it up to the endless energy of youth. It is no surprise to me that throughout college I had frequent bouts of IBS, and migraine headaches. I was sick often with one thing or another but I was so determined to live my college life that I ignored as much of my medical difficulties as I could.
During those years my parents were disengaged, my home life was chaotic and disrupted and my mother and father barely noticed the negative impact of my lifestyle. These were the days when my fibro took hold and I was put on the path of challenging health issues. I remember the fatigue and the aches and pains. But back then I had the advantage of youth on my side and for better or worse, it got me through. I've always had a high energy personality and I have been ambitious and excited about all aspects of my life. I don't like having bouts of low energy. As I get older, my energy will naturally fade and adding fibro and chronic fatigue to that eventuality is sobering. But there is no natural process that can dim my spirit or keep me from being young at heart. I have to respect my body and its limits and for sure I don't have to burn the candle at both ends the way I did when I was young and filled with the energy of youth.
No comments:
Post a Comment