Last night I was on the phone with my younger daughter, the one who lives in a group home. She called and wanted me to know she wasn't having a very good day - she was feeling up, then down, and then back up again and in that moment she just wanted to come home. She does very well where she's living and has been in her house for many years. The program she attends is rich in activities and in caring people who truly take a deep interest in her well-being - and she's happy. But just like the rest of us, some days are better than others, and also like the rest of us, the comforts of home seem like the answer.
We talked things through and she said what she needed to say because it's important for her to feel heard. Then we did our usual phone routine - talking a bit, getting my hubby on the phone with her, singing some songs and saying silly stuff to make her laugh. We had a great conversation and she was feeling lots better. Then it was time to hang up the phone and she got sad again. I was willing to talk her through it, but she quickly pulled herself together, said goodbye, and headed off to spend time with her friends. I was happy for her that she has those freindships. It is an incredible gift and a relief that she can live as independently as she does. I just don't know how I could manage it if she was still living here. Just that twenty minutes on the phone took a lot of emotional energy.
The times my daughter does come home are intense. She needs help with most of what she wants to do and her attention span is about four minutes, then she's onto something new. I love it when she comes home and I can keep up when I have to. But by the time she leaves, I'm feeling the exhaustion creep in. Visits are usually a few days at a time. I treasure the time we spend together, but at the same time wonder how I'm going to pull it off. We all know that raising kids is no easy task. Parents with kids who are still needing us, and our attention, are a special challenge when fibro and fatigue are in the picture. Luckily, the love we feel for our children - whether thay are small or grown - pulls us through and gives us that extra little bit of energy we might not have otherwise.
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