It's been quite a day. It started with a visit with my Lady Doc and the outcome still has me thinking and reflecting. Seems I've been working against my best interests by continuing to take on responsibilities and activities that I am not really strong enough to keep on doing. When I feel good, I feel motivated and that motivation leads me to trouble. When I got sick earlier this week, it was clear that I have no energy reserve and I was fully depleted from just a simple bug. I have to concentrate on building the kind of reserve that will allow me to function more normally.
I am feeling saddened and disappointed over my current physical state. It is important to me to get the most out of life. This on-again-off-again energy supply makes it difficult to plan or enjoy the things in my life that give me pleaure and a sense of purpose. I've always been the helper, the one who kept things together and now I'm not. The shoe is on the other foot and instead of giving help, I'm the one needing it. It is hard to be the needy one and even harder to ask for help. My family is behind me one hundred per cent so I have to give up my pride and ask for what I need and pray that I don't overburden the ones I love. I hope they know I would do this for them if they asked it of me.
My hubby and I had a long talk tonight and I talked with my daughter, too. Together we are looking at ways to divide up my current responsibilities and see how I can cut back even more. I hate the fact that I can't add to what I'm doing let alone having to cut back again. If I have to cut back even more to get my life back, let it be, but I am not giving up on this fight. This retreat is actually an advance and I am armed and ready for the next level of battle!
I am feeling saddened and disappointed over my current physical state. It is important to me to get the most out of life. This on-again-off-again energy supply makes it difficult to plan or enjoy the things in my life that give me pleaure and a sense of purpose. I've always been the helper, the one who kept things together and now I'm not. The shoe is on the other foot and instead of giving help, I'm the one needing it. It is hard to be the needy one and even harder to ask for help. My family is behind me one hundred per cent so I have to give up my pride and ask for what I need and pray that I don't overburden the ones I love. I hope they know I would do this for them if they asked it of me.
My hubby and I had a long talk tonight and I talked with my daughter, too. Together we are looking at ways to divide up my current responsibilities and see how I can cut back even more. I hate the fact that I can't add to what I'm doing let alone having to cut back again. If I have to cut back even more to get my life back, let it be, but I am not giving up on this fight. This retreat is actually an advance and I am armed and ready for the next level of battle!
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