When it comes to technology I am not a patient person. I think it's because I feel so darned incompetent. I just spent over an hour on the phone trying to get an internet connection. The fella that helped me was very patient and had a sweet sense of humor. I was polite and calm but I could feel the tension building in my neck and back as I balanced a land-line, my cell and my laptop. I had absolutely no idea why I was doing what I was doing and if I was left to my own devices I couldn't solve the problem again. It annoyed me that I was so unskilled. One thing I've learned about myself is that when I feel incompetent and confused I lose my patience with myself.
I think I have expectations of myself that are way too high. Why would I think, even for one second, that I should be able to figure out a computer glitch? I can't fix my own car and that doesn't bother me. But I have come to expect that I can drive my car into a garage and there will be someone there who is a genius at fixing it and I can't. But when it comes to computers I have a different expectation of myself because I've worked hard to try to keep up. When I'm stuck and someone helps me, they make it seem so easy and that just adds to my feelings of inadequacy. I have to re-adjust my thinking and focus on what I can do instead of what I can't.
There is so much to learn about so many things I know I'll spend the rest of my life being curious and learning new things. When I am a beginner it's a great time to learn more about being patient with myself. Practicing patience means I have a realistic and positive outlook and I give myself time to grasp something new. I have to recognize that doing something new or complicated takes time and effort and I have to cut myself a break if I'm not successful right away. Taking a deep breath or even taking a break can increase my sense of calm and create more self-acceptance and patience. I can be as kind and forgiving with myself as I am with the sweet little ones in my life. I deserve that and I know that I don't have to be so hard on myself.
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