When I wake up with a migraine is it because I am having a crash or do I have a crash because I started my day with a migraine? It's kind of like the chicken and egg question and regardless of the answer, when I start the day with one of my monster headaches, it does not bode well. This was a couch day and it was a rough one. I couldn't be up for more than a trip to the bathroom and I felt like my get up and go got up and went - totally. I felt really wiped out with zero energy for anything. What a waste of time to be on the couch when the sun is shining, there's a soft breeze blowing and I am in a place that looks and feels like heaven.
We were up in the mountains with friends for the weekend and had plans for a dinner cruise tonight on one of the big lakes in the Adirondack Mountains. By mid-afternoon it was clear that I wasn't going to be going anywhere today. Some crash days start to turn around in the late afternoon and I can actually have a pretty good night even though the day was a washout. When we called to cancel the reservation, we were told the full amount for the night-time cruise would be placed on my credit card. That wasn't what I wanted to hear, and it didn't set too well with me since we had given four hours notice. But I understand that they might not fill those seats and they also have to prepare food based on reservation numbers, and so on. Our friends generously said they would pay their share, but that made me feel terrible, too. I didn't want them to have to pay for an experience they didn't have because of me. I finally convinced them to go ahead without us and have a good time.
My crash days can complicate things. As it turned out, we got a call back from the boat company and our money was refunded, in full. Everybody heaved a sigh of relief and it simplified our decision making. It's hard to be the one that causes the change in plans. It happens a lot and I don't feel very good about it. I'm not feeling guilty, per se, but more like I've let folks down. No one blames me and I am usually the one that is harder on myself in these situations. I am getting much better at letting those feelings pass through without dwelling on them or making a big drama out of it. If I could have gone out and had a fun evening I certainly would have. A crash ruins my plans too, not just everyone else's. My hubby and our friends went out for their 'last night here” dinner at a local spot. I'm thankful that I'm upright and able to finish my blog. I'll grab some yummy left-overs from the fridge and finish my day working on getting my energy back.
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