There are many times I find myself being annoyed by the impact of fibro and fatigue on my life so I guess I shouldn't be surprised when every now and then someone in my family gets annoyed with it, too. I got a glimpse of that today when I had to spend the whole day in bed instead of having a fun time on a family outing. The past couple of days I tried hard to pace myself, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to catch up with me and it did. I tried to get up this morning but I wasn't able to stay vertical for more than an hour or so and then it was back to bed for me. The rest of the family went about their business, but by the end of the day it was clear that my presence was missed, and not in a good way. My help was needed and I wasn't there to offer it. I felt bad, but not guilty. Sleeping wasn't an option or an indulgence – it was a necessity.
I finally dragged myself out of bed at about four in the afternoon and I had half a migraine cooking. I took my meds, but the headache just didn't want to go away. I tried to go about the rest of my day and ignore it, but it felt like a hangover and I just wasn't myself. I slowly started coming back to my old self by the time my daughter and her family rolled in. When I am around my grandkids I don't want them to see me as being sick. I have explained to them that I sometimes need extra rest, but they are little and any more of an explanation just wouldn't make sense. If I am in the room, they want to engage me in what they are doing and I am happy to comply. I sit when I can and try to do things that don't tax my energy too much, but time and again I find myself overextending because I am having such a good time with the little ones. It is really important to me to be a good gramma and fibro or not, that's what I intend to be.
I love holiday weekends because they offer an opportunity to kick back in a different kind of way. There are traditions to look forward to and opportunities for get-togethers. With each passing year I can see that my full participation isn't always possible and once again, I have to think about the adjustments I can make so that I can make the most of what's going on. One thing about getting together means that everyone chips in and carries their weight. I do what I can in that regard as well. Family members are good at pitching in and when each of us does a little we can accomplish a lot. The weekend is half over and I made it through with just one crash. We have two more days together so I want to get a good night's sleep tonight and wake up more refreshed and ready to take on a new day.
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