Reading has always been a favorite pass-time of mine. I have lost count of the number of books I have read and the last time I moved, I lost count of the number of cartons of books I gave away. Since we've moved books have crept into every corner of my house and they seem to multiply without my noticing it. The self-help and psychology sections of the bookstore have always been a favorite and I explore my spirituality through the wise words of others. I do a lot of professional reading because I always have so much to learn. I love a good story and I love getting into someone else's life for a few hours. I've read books that I didn't want to end because I felt connected to the characters and I wasn't ready to end the relationship. Silly, maybe, but some books touch me that way. I've also had my share of books that I didn't make it past page fifty. If I am not into a book I just put it aside - there are so many others that capture me, I don't want to waste my time plodding through a mismatch.
One of the biggest challenges I've faced with my fibro is difficulty with my vision. For the past ten years I have had double vision that prevents me from reading for too long a period of time. What happens is my muscles fatigue and my eyes drift just a tiny bit outward and it creates an up and down kind of double vision with one image on top of the other. When my vision is like that, reading is nearly impossible. Some days I can read for ten minutes and my vision goes and other days I can read longer. It helps to take a break from the page every few minutes and look at something in the distance and then close my eyes for a moment or two to give them a quick rest. But until I was diagnosed at the Wills Eye Institute in Philadelphia, I just couldn't read my books anymore. When I went there I was fitted with prisms that work for reading and on most days, they work pretty well. When I am in a crash, nothing helps and I have to admit that it is the one fibro symptom that brings fear. Losing my vision, even for just part of a day, is a very sobering.
My local eye doctor is actually the one who first diagnosed my fibro, although she never did find a way to help me with my double vision. I will always be grateful for her insight and for pointing me in the right direction. She left her practice and I wandered from one eye doctor to another until I decided to go to Philadelphia. It is not convenient to go to an eye doctor almost two hours away, but this is the first doctor who after many years was able to help me. I felt an enormous sense of relief when he could put a label on my difficulty and then do something about it. I think many individuals with health issues find that they have to travel to find the best care. My Lady Doc, the one who treats my fibro, is in NYC, I'm in NJ and my eye doc is on Pennsylvania. I'll go as far as I need to go to feel the best I can feel. I think about my eyesight every day and I spend at least a little while each day with bad vision. I can deal with it, I can cope, but I sure don't want this to be any worse - there are way too many books left to read!
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