Day 85 - For Dinner, For Coffee, For Life....

I met a friend (from a long time ago) for dinner in the city last night. It was really nice to sit and talk about old times and to also share some stuff that we're grappling with now in our lives. We talked about our kids and our spouses, our work and our frustrations, our families and a bunch of other stuff that just came up in the course of conversation. There is something very comfortable about meeting up with a friend from a former life. I was a kid when we knew each other in college and it's fun to talk about our perceptions of our experience back then. Our lives went in very different directions, but it seemed clear that even after all this time, we still value the same things.

It's nice to know that old friends can pick up the conversation where it left off. We don't have to see each other all the time to stay friends, but it is nice to check in on one another every now and then. I guess different friends meet different needs in us and a friendship will last as long as those needs are met. I also suppose that we have different friendship needs at different times in our lives. It's great to have a Best Friend and those friendships meet all kinds of needs over a long period of time and feel like a real gift. But there are other friendships that are just as important to us and tend to meet a more specific than a general need. Certainly a sense of companionship has to be part of a relationship, but we have so many facets to our personalities and our lives, it's neat if we can develop friendships that kind of fit into those little niches.

Having one kind of a friendship with a person doesn't diminish the importance of another. Besides a best friend we also need a friend to play with, one at work and another in the neighborhood, one from our past and a new friend that we're just getting to know. Or, a friend that sees things our way and a few friends that see things differently. We might want a friend that has kids the same age as our own and a friend with a parent the same age as ours. How about a friend that will laugh with us, but not at us (well, just a little bit as long as it's all in good fun). It's nice to have a buddy shop with and one to go for coffee, one for deep conversation and one that keeps it light, a friend who gets us without explanation and a friend who doesn't get us, but likes us anyway. We might have a friend that's also a relative and another who feels like a sister, or even a brother.  It's neat to have a friend from a different generation than our own and one that always keeps us feeling young. If you're a guy you need a girl friend and if you're a girl you need a guy friend for a gendered point of view. A friend that can sit and be quiet with you is a much a treasure as the one who tells great stories. We just need a friendship that has a common interest or an emotional attachment that keeps us glued together. As a woman, I have always known that my life couldn't feel complete without my friends. I know that time spent with a friend makes me feel connected, cared for and involved and that's exactly what I'd like to offer in return.