Day 48 - Do You Miss Me When I'm Not There?

Yesterday my travel plans got all messed up. What started out as a four hour trip stretched into seven-and-a-half hours of starts and stops. Four of us were headed out to a work retreat and the weather interfered with most of us. One team member never did arrive for the first night. The three of us who were there had a great evening together catching up, swapping stories, laughing and just having good conversation. But one of us was missing. I felt badly that his travel plans were so ridiculously screwed up and that he missed dinner and our bonding time. We called him and left silly messages on his phone so he'd know he was missed. But the night went on with out him.
 

I started to think about the times I've missed occasions - times when I wasn't up to socializing but wanting to be part of things. Or times at work when I've been out sick or on medical leave to get myself glued back together. When I'm gone - do they feel my presence, and in that way I am still there, or do they feel a gap because of my absence? Or, does it matter very much at all? I know things move along smoothly even without me. I like to think that if I don't show up for work or a special outing, I'll be missed. But I also know that I am not the center of the universe and life goes on without me. It's just that sometimes I feel like I am missing out.

I want to be in the mix of things and remain relevant. I want to matter and to be connected to the people I care about. I don't want to hold anyone back from what they want to do when I'm the one that's under the weather. But I can't help but feel a little bit left out and sometimes lonesome when the party goes on without me. One of my wellness goals is to increase the time I spend having fun. I want to get out there and do the fun things I used to love to do and spend time with people I care about while I'm doing it. I want to find the things that have fallen away and revitalize some friendships that have gotten a little rusty. My goal is to be a more active participant in my life and to feel strong enough to say YES to opportunities that come my way. I don't want to miss a thing!