Today I walked my big, fluffy, goof of a dog with my hubby. I don't usually go along on their walks because they go so far and I get concerned that I'll run out of steam half-way through the outing. That has happened to me a bunch of times, where I'm in the middle of a walk, an activity, an event or an afternoon and it's like someone pulled a plug and all my energy drains right out of me and then there I sit! It's very disconcerting.
A few years back, I was riding bikes with my hubby on vacation in Florida. I was having a great time just toodling around and challenging myself every now and then by racing up to an inclined bridge and then letting myself just coast on the other side after I'd reached the crest. After a few miles I was quite suddenly overcome with fatigue. I just couldn't go on. I was drained and my muscles seemed to have lost their strength. I felt like a rag doll. We checked our little resort map to see how much further it was to the hotel. We thought the ride was a big circle and that we would end where we started. It wasn't. Guess we didn't study the residential part of the map very carefully. The outing we planned had just doubled in distance because we had to repeat our path to get back.
We sat along the side of the road trying to figure out what to do. Should he leave me and go back and then come get me in the car? Should we wait it out and hope I'd feel better and do the ride myself? Should we call for help? It was ridiculous and I didn't want to do anyting to call attention to myself. Very fortunately, we didn't have to figure it out ourselves. A very sweet man in the neighborhood saw us sitting under a tree and came over to offer his assistance. He drove us back to the hotel and even went back for the bikes. What a blessing and a God-send for us.
That event stands out to me as the perfect example of pushing myself too far and crashing. It happens and I must say it's not all that predictable. I've had days that I was sure would create a crash and other days that I didn't think I did anything all that taxing and I wind up on the couch. Go figure. The balance I am working to strike is to make sure I continue to do things in my life that make me happy, that nourish my soul and body and that keep me feeling alive and engaged. I think I've gained a little bit of wisdom about my body, and how it works, to know there are things I need to avoid because of my history of crashing after them. But I also don't want to limit my life one bit more than I have to. So, like taking that walk with my dog, I make the best decision I can, do an energy check to see if I can keep going when I'm in the middle of it and embrace the possibility that this time I will be fine.
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