Today a friend was wondering how my blog relates to my 365 days of recovery. I explained that at this point, I don't know what will work and what won't. Since I have no big news about a miraculous recovery, I am focusing on the nuances of wellness. Kind of like getting my house in order by attacking this thing medically, but supporting a sense of balance in my mental, emotional and social well-being as well as my physical health. I'm looking at what works in my life and what doesn't and how those things connect to my over-all well-being. I've only been in treatment for a month and I haven't seen any signs of improvement. I'm told it will take 3 - 4 months before I see any difference. I've got a lot of blogs to write until then.
One alternative to my writing about snippets of my life and well-being is to blog about my symptoms. It might look something like this:
Day 1 - Had a screamer of a migraine, my back ached, I couldn't concentrate, had double vision, couldn't fall asleep until 2 am. Slept for 7 hours woke up feeling like crap. Have taken a nap but now my legs hurt. Took 19 different supplements and meds over the course of the day. Hope this recovery program helps.
Day 2 - See Day 1 and no results yet
Day 3 - See Day 1 but no headache and couldn't take a nap because I was at work.
Day 4 - Went to sleep at midnight, overslept and nearly missed my meeting. See Day 1 again without the headache
Day 5. See Day 1, include headache, no leg pain, but add wrists aching - why? Who the hell knows.
Day 6 Had a pretty good day - took a couple of walks with the dog. Maybe this is helping!
Day 7 - On the couch all day. couldn't move, think, or give a crap about anything. Good news - no headache.
Day 8 - Only on the couch for half the day. Finally dragged myself into the shower around one o'clock. Ran a few errands. Back on the couch by 4.
Day 3 - See Day 1 but no headache and couldn't take a nap because I was at work.
Day 4 - Went to sleep at midnight, overslept and nearly missed my meeting. See Day 1 again without the headache
Day 5. See Day 1, include headache, no leg pain, but add wrists aching - why? Who the hell knows.
Day 6 Had a pretty good day - took a couple of walks with the dog. Maybe this is helping!
Day 7 - On the couch all day. couldn't move, think, or give a crap about anything. Good news - no headache.
Day 8 - Only on the couch for half the day. Finally dragged myself into the shower around one o'clock. Ran a few errands. Back on the couch by 4.
Day 9 - Off to the doctor for an intravenous vitamin treatment. Hard day. Tomorrow I will have more energy!
Day 10 - What energy boost? Exhausted. Couldn't sleep last night. Falling asleep at my desk. Body aches all over. Can't see - blurred and double vision. Discouraged.
Day 10 - What energy boost? Exhausted. Couldn't sleep last night. Falling asleep at my desk. Body aches all over. Can't see - blurred and double vision. Discouraged.
Day 11 - See Day 1.
Ridiculous, huh? But I am still determined to see this through and come out better on the other side. Am I being an unrealistic optimist? I don't think so. I am being treated by a physician who knows this condition and lives with it herself. I am getting the best nutritional support I can get, my family is supportive and the decisions being made are based on data from medical tests. This is only the second month - I have eleven to go - 329 days more. Can I do it? See Day 365.
Oh Mama. Hang in there. I am hopeful that this will all work and I am positive that if this program of treatment doesn't work, there is something out there that WILL and we will find it.
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