Day 38 - Hey, Body! Who's in Charge here?!?

Our brains are incredible! When I think of all the things that go on in my body without my conscious awareness, I can't imagine being in charge. Think of it - if you had to run your own body - could you do it? I couldn't! I have this image of myself running around like a crazed person - ok, keep that heart rhythm going thumpthump thumpthump, oops gotta tweak those stomach enzymes. Yikes, adjust vision for distance, no make that close-up, no distance again. Check bladder - good, not too full. Count platelets - white cells, red cells - hmmm whites a little low - make note to self to figure that one out. Whoa, not enough magnesium - send cramp to calf to alert system. Hey! Why am I drooling? Oops, forgot to swallow! 

I think I get too busy now - imagine having to regulate, monitor and fix all of the systems that keep me alive. I have enough of a challenge managing the things in my life that I am conscious of! How is is that my very own brain, my self, my soul, knows more than I know? Here I am making all these choices in my life, but maybe there is more to my wellness than my own awareness. Just like the automatic and complex systems in my body, my life seems to be an unfolding that operates in its own way and in its own time. Things happen that I don't understand, and then later, sometimes much later, it becomes clear why a certain person entered my life, or why I was delayed by just five minutes, or that aggravating change in plans led to something exciting and wonderful. Clearly, my life is on a different path than it was since I began fighting fibro, and I have fought to get on another. But it has made me think of life a little differently. And truth be told, there has been some good that has come out of it. My life, my work, my relationships, my activity level, my priorities and my goals have all been tweaked and I still have a very fulfilling life.

Some of the changes I've made have been wonderful and have made my life rich, joyful and less complicated, some were heart-wrenching, and others healthy, but not fun. Some of the changes have led to new friendships with people that know me now, rather than back when I could do whatever I wanted to do on a moment's notice. They understand and support my wellness. I may not be able to run all the systems in my body, but I can run my own life. I can look for ways to stay conscious and aware of opportunities and possibilities to keep my life going in the right direction. There is a lot going on inside of me that I can't begin to explain. But I do know my brain, my mind, my soul, whatever you want to call it, carries wisdom. I may not understand it, but I can certainly trust it. Part of my wellness is to quiet myself to access some of that wisdom and to use the ah-ha's and moments of clarity to create my best life.