I've gotten to the point that the idea of socializing takes some getting used to. I spend so much time alone and with people that I know well, when I'm thrown together with people I don't know, I feel a little rusty around the edges. I'm okay with small talk, but I find that small talk tires me out faster than just about any other kind of social interaction mostly because I feel like I have to work so hard to hold up my end of the conversation. I do better with topics of substance, mostly because we get into a flow and then I have some sense of where the conversation might go. I also know that the less I am around new folks, the more difficult it is to feel comfortable when I meet someone new. I like people and I love the idea of getting together. I just don't like the way it can drain me if I'm not feeling confident and energized.
We've been in our new place for just about four years and other than family gatherings, we've never had a party here. As a matter of fact, I can't remember the last time we had a bunch of people over to just hang out and have a nice evening. I'm thinking that I'd like to give that a shot, but the idea of it makes me a little, well, nervous. It is so much work to have a gathering and although I'd love the party aspect, the prep and clean-up are another story. My hubby is helpful, but I know how I get about those kind of things. I like to do the cooking, make it special and do all the fussy stuff that gets the house ready and welcoming. When I have people over, I am always way more concerned than I should be that everyone is having a good time. So, if I do this I have to set some guidelines for myself so that the gathering is as enjoyable for me as it is everyone else.
Summer is a great time for getting together and I think I might just take the leap and plan something for the beginning of July. We can be outside and there is something special about warm summer nights. We can do food on the grill and enjoy fresh veggies and fruits and a big ole watermelon for dessert. I can make it simple and I can take the pressure off by taking myself off the hook of being responsible for everyone's good time. I need to find ways to continue to enjoy being with friends that feel comfortable and manageable. I'm thinking that if I can plan something while I am off from work, it will allow me to get ready for the event without it taking too much out of me. At this point it's just a thought, but every action begins with an idea and the idea of having a fun night with friends sounds pretty good to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment