I have made acceptance speeches, accepted invitations to special events or an offer to go for a cup of coffee. I work to accept people for who they are and accept that things change and that I can't do it all. That all sounds so reasonable and good. But when it comes to thinking about the word "acceptance" as it relates to my physical issues, or the special challenges that I may be facing, I want to fight back - not accept it. Acceptance feels like giving in or saying that it's okay with me that I am living with a particular set of troubles, and accepting them means that I'm not going to do anything about it. When people use the phrase, "just accept it" that sounds like resignation to me. That's just not who I am. I have always thought of myself as a compassionate scrapper. I'm a survivor, a champion, someone who pushes the envelope. I like those things about me and I do not want to ever seem like I am letting go of that kind of energy.
So I looked up the word acceptance in the dictionary and never expected the definition would be so, well, positive. Of course acceptance feel great when it is something good or anticipated. But with things that are a bit less cheery or comfortable to live with, I always thought of acceptance as a kind of giving in to something that couldn't be changed or something that I had no choice but to live with. But, in reading the definition I find that acceptance is an act of receiving. It suggests to me there is grace in acceptance rather than it being a weakening or giving in to something. Acceptance is also an act of believing, a favorable reception or showing something favor. So perhaps there is something uplifting and energizing about accepting my situation that I have not understood before now.
If I can just accept my condition, my situation, or my circumstance in this very minute, without making it more than it needs to be I feel more balanced. My condition is something, it isn't everything. In each individual moment, breath and nano-second, I can choose to simply be where I am, or I can rail against the experience and use my energy to push back, argue, plead or bargain my way out of it. If I have a migraine headache I don't have to sit in a chair accepting my pain and then live in misery for the next six hours. Acceptance means that I simply acknowledge what is happening, get up out of the chair, take my pill, then rest my eyes and just let it be, until it isn't anymore. Acceptance doesn't mean inaction. It means that I know that I continue to be empowered, that I may, or may not, move into a different or better place now, or even later. And finally, that I don't need to get myself all wrapped up in the drama of my challenge. .
So I looked up the word acceptance in the dictionary and never expected the definition would be so, well, positive. Of course acceptance feel great when it is something good or anticipated. But with things that are a bit less cheery or comfortable to live with, I always thought of acceptance as a kind of giving in to something that couldn't be changed or something that I had no choice but to live with. But, in reading the definition I find that acceptance is an act of receiving. It suggests to me there is grace in acceptance rather than it being a weakening or giving in to something. Acceptance is also an act of believing, a favorable reception or showing something favor. So perhaps there is something uplifting and energizing about accepting my situation that I have not understood before now.
If I can just accept my condition, my situation, or my circumstance in this very minute, without making it more than it needs to be I feel more balanced. My condition is something, it isn't everything. In each individual moment, breath and nano-second, I can choose to simply be where I am, or I can rail against the experience and use my energy to push back, argue, plead or bargain my way out of it. If I have a migraine headache I don't have to sit in a chair accepting my pain and then live in misery for the next six hours. Acceptance means that I simply acknowledge what is happening, get up out of the chair, take my pill, then rest my eyes and just let it be, until it isn't anymore. Acceptance doesn't mean inaction. It means that I know that I continue to be empowered, that I may, or may not, move into a different or better place now, or even later. And finally, that I don't need to get myself all wrapped up in the drama of my challenge. .
Diane I really loved your post. I just stumbled on to your blog today and I am looking forward reading more of your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou discribed acceptance so well and if it only took you 278 days you came understanding much quicker than I did.
Acceptance is not giving up it is learning how to live in spite of the condition. I found that figthing took up an incredible amount of my energy and yet did not improve my life.
I look forward to reading the rest of your posts.
Traci
Thanks for sharing, Traci. I think the acceptance thing for me, kind of comes and goes. Some days it's harder than others to just let go and let it be. I am happy that you will continue to read my posts. Take good care of yourself and be well.
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