Day 77 - Where's My Focus? On the Problem or the Solution?

Every day for a couple of months, a strange car parked across the street from my house. I'd be alerted to his presence because my dog barked his arrival and I would peek out of the window to see what all the doggie-ruckus was about. The car was there at all times of the day - dinner time, three in the morning, mid-afternoon. There was just no pattern to the time of day that long black car would appear. But the driver's routine was almost always the same. He'd stand outside of his car, smoking a cigarette, with the trunk open, talking on his phone. At first I didn't think much of it, but it became an almost daily routine, plus, when I walked my pup where he usually parked  I could see the pile of cigarette butts he left next to his car. He was there a lot! I was starting to feel a bit unnerved, wondering about this fellow. Was he up to no good - like selling drugs or arranging some kind of grown-up mischief? I didn't know and I wasn't about to go up to him and ask.

Finally one day I was leaving for work and there he was. I felt strange leaving my home unprotected, knowing this man was watching me leave. What to do? Well, I wrote down his license plate number and went my little local police station. The officer ran the plate and while his computer searched for information he reassured me that I had done the right thing in reporting my concern. Better to be safe than sorry and he would have wanted his wife to do the same thing in that circumstance. Then he laughed. Funny? What the heck was so funny? Well, it turns out that the car belonged to a neighbor from just a couple of blocks away. He must have been sneaking away from home to have a smoke. Kind of like my ninety-year-old neighbor way back from when I was in my twenties, who had to stand in the bathtub and blow his cigar smoke out of the bathroom window because his wife forbid him to smoke in the house! At first I felt embarrassed standing there in the police station doing undercover work on a local smoker, but then I felt relieved. The mysterious man was there again this morning, smoking up a storm, but no big deal.

This story reminds me that making assumptions without getting the information I need uses up a lot of energy that I could put to better use, especially if I've assumed the negative. It was a few weeks of feeling uncomfortable before I faced my issue with that mysterious black car and put my fears to rest. If I want to keep my energy high, I can address whatever comes up that is causing me fear or discomfort, and then do my best to clear it away. That way my energy is reserved for more important things. I can ask for clarification of a comment made to me that I don't quite get, instead of stewing about what might have been the intent. If someone makes a mistake I can cut them a break instead of it turning into a big thing. Or, instead of being fearful of a symptom I'm experiencing, I can check it out with my Lady Doc and start to work on a plan. My world is filled with all kinds of things that go bump in the night. I can spend my life afraid and offended, or look for the most positive intent in people. I can use my energy to seek the answers I need to help me to feel more grounded,  secure, and working toward a solution. Guess it boils down to focusing on the solution rather than the problem. That seems like a much better use of my energy.