This morning I saw my cardiologist and I shared my recent blood work results with him as well as the list of meds and supplements I'm taking as I try to wrestle this nasty condition to the ground. He was not impressed with the plan and made no bones about expressing his position to me. And here I am, feeling all motivated and excited about a possible future of healing for me. I've been pulling out all the stops and feel totally committed to working on whatever it takes to get me better. I have my mind set on getting well and I expect my body to follow. I have every reason to believe I am on the right track. Or am I? Have I been sold a bill of goods? Have I responded to a marketing effort from a group of people who are just taking a stab at this using their "best guess" theory? Am I taking a mountain of pills and potions with no hope of recovery?
I have to admit my resolve was shaken to the core when my doctor said to me, "I don't want to be the one who has to tell you this, but you're not going to get any better. It's not fair that you have this condition and I don't want to make you feel bad, but there is no cure for fibromyalgia and it's a rotten thing to have happen in your life. But I will tell you this, just as I would someone with polio - this is what you've got and it's not going to change. You are not going to get better no matter what your new doctor is telling you." Whoa there - what was that? No healing? No change? No opportunity to get my life back again the way it used to be? Nope - not according to him. Not possible? What do I have then, if I don't have hope? He also said, "Why do you think the doctors you have seen before this one haven't been able to help you? It's because there isn't an answer and giving you more of a drug that doesn't work in the first place won't help your condition." Yikes. Talk about having the rug pulled out from under me.
So where do I go from here? I don't quite know yet. I have to let this settle in and I have to think about it some more. I want to talk to my Lady Doc and find out more about what we're doing and again, why she thinks it is the right path for me. I will never stop searching for a way to feel complete again. I am not obsessive about it and I do accept that for this minute in time I have fibro issues and the fatigue is a real problem. But just because I accept that, it doesn't mean I will succumb to it. I still have another 310 days on this journey. Don't count me out, yet!
I think the medical doc is off base and that he caused you harm. He is invested in the medical model and seems to dismiss other alternatives, and feels free to undermine your hope? That ticks me off! Has he had fibromyalgia like your Lady Doc? Traditional medicine will give you the traditional response. Homeopathic is the way to go for challenging conditions. In my opinion, anyone who undermines your hope for something better is no healer.
ReplyDeleteI think your body has been depleted since childhood, perhaps since infancy. You are in the process of restoration. You said you are feeling better and have less pain. Go for it and don't look back!
By the way, I see your excitement about your new treatment protocol. You can count on me, Phil, Alyson and others in your close network to celebrate your progress and your progress. We are the ones who will support you during this 365 day journey and thereafter. Folks like the doc who shook your confidence are bystanders at best when it comes to your full recovery and less than worthy of your confidence and enthusiasm. Let the traditional docs do the traditional stuff. Continue to trust your deepest instincts - that is how you will get where you want to go! love you!
I have complete faith in my Lady Doc. It will take more than one nay-sayer to get me off track!
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