Day 51 - Who Needs a Doctor That's a Bully?

Eighth grade was a tough year for me. There were three boys who decided to make my life miserable with their taunting, teasing and their not-so-funny comments. I took what they said to heart and I felt self-conscious and powerless around them. The year before I was still in my elementary school where I was a good student and got along with everybody. I had no idea what was in store for me when I switched over to the middle school. I know I am not alone in my experience, that many of us were bullied and pushed to our emotional limits. Now that I'm an adult - I just won't stand for it any more!

I mention this story because I feel like some of my doctors have been bullies. They are cold, distant and critical and they are more interested in what they have already decided than what might be best for me. There are two in particular who were so arrogant and condescending, that it only took me a couple of visits to decide to slam the door behind me and never return. I have a choice and I am exercising my freedom to choose health care professionals who have a high level of expertise. At the same time they have, at their core, an attitude of compassion and empathy. It isn't all that difficult for a doctor to project an air of confidence and competence and at the same time, be willing to listen and ask questions. My favorite story is about a well-known neurologist in my town. I went to him for my migraines and restless leg syndrome as well as having sleep difficulties. His first sentence, "I don't know very much about fibromyalgia." His second, "But I don't think you have it." Okay then, how do we move forward? I said, "That's fine, let's just focus on the headaches and my meds for RLS." I got my prescriptions and didn't go back.

I have control over who is on my recovery team. I want the head of my team to be someone who "gets" me and will include me as a partner in my recovery program. My Lady Doc is a really good listener. I know not to get all detailed and tell her endless stories. I am brief and to the point and I answer her questions without adding lots of additional information. I also come prepared to the appointments with a list of questions I want to ask. So instead of feeling like I'm interrupting my doctor's very busy day, I feel like I am respected and that my doctor uses all the information we share to make the best decisions for my well-being.  My doctor isn't there to be my buddy, but I do expect my doctor to have a high level of commitment to me as a patient and not to push me around or bully me into compliance. I did that in eighth grade and I'm not doing it again!