Day 60 A Few Rocks and a Little Bit of Balance

A cairn is a man-made pile of stones that is built in lots of places, in lots of cultures, and has a variety of meaning from the religious or spiritual to simply marking a trail. They have their own beauty and can be a loose random pile of stones or a planned structure. They are often used along a hiking trail where hikers add a stone as they pass by. I really like the simple cairns that have one stone balancing perfectly on another and are built up as high as the creator wants it to go. It might have seven or eight rocks, or even more. There is no cement or glue holding them together - it is simply a perfect balance. On a trip to California a few years back, I was driving near San Diego and saw that someone had built cairns out of boulders - they just sat there on the side of the highway, perfectly balanced on each other, sometimes with the tiniest point of contact and they were amazing. I've never forgotten the way those rocks seemed to know how to sit just so.

This past weekend I was walking through a little town up in the mountains. The last time I was there I noticed a series of cairns that were built behind the benches along their main street. They were still there this trip and it was neat to see that they had not only lasted, but had been added to. I kind of have a thing for cairns, so I thought that I might add my two cents and build one of my own. So I started gathering rocks and stacking them one on top of the other, and finding that perfect point of balance in each. Two rocks, three, then four and each one effortlessly found its place. It was pretty cool! When I was finished I felt a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. I realized that I could not have found the balance between those rocks, if I had not found it within me. It certainly was no Piccasso or Rembrandt but I felt like I left a little piece of beauty in the way those small rocks played on each other.

A few weeks ago when I was in the mountains I decided to build a cairn to mark a spot during a retreat. It was raining and I didn't want to get wet so I balanced my umbrella in one hand and began stacking rocks with the other. Each time I placed a rock, it fell off. I just couldn't find that sweet spot that would connect the rocks in a perfect balance. Why was one attempt so successful and satisfying while the other was a dismal failure? It seems clear to me that if I am tired, unfocused, distracted or more concerned with my physical state than the task at hand, it makes things harder. When I was working on the cairn this past weekend, I gave it my full, yet relaxed concentration and it felt effortless. The time before I was leaning over, and with one hand, I was making a half hearted attempt that just wasn't going to go anywhere, so I gave up. I am learning to go easier on myself on those days when I can't give something my all. If something that is usually effortless seems like a struggle, maybe it's not the right time to take it on. If I know it's in me and if I just wait another day I can show up feeling more healthy, balanced and ready to make it happen!