Day 52 - What am I Supposed to Do Now?

There was an event coming up and I had one of those days where nothing in my closet seemed just right. So I figured out which store would be most likely to carry what I wanted, headed there, picked a dress and came home with it. No big deal. Mission accomplished. The night of the event arrived. I hopped in the shower, did my hair and put on my make-up. All that was left to do was to step into that dress and put on the finishing touches. I was all ready to go and took one last look in the mirror - and GASP - the security tag was still attached! What???? How did that happen???? Drat! I quickly found something different to wear and off we went.

When I had a few minutes to think about it I started to wonder - what am I supposed to do now? If I wanted to wear the dress the tag had to be removed in the store. The dress fit, so I didn't keep the receipt, so how was I to prove that I didn't just take it out of the store and it was really mine? Oh, now my head was spinning and I was getting just a little worked up over it. How would I prove my innocence? How could I walk into a store and set of the alarm without it being noticed and once I got in the store, how would I convince the person at the sales counter that I really did pay for the dress? Part of me just wanted to ignore the whole thing and just leave the dress hanging so I wouldn't have to deal with my discomfort. But then another side of me kicked in and I had a new point of view.

I knew what had happened. It was an honest mistake and I am an honest person with integrity and I knew I didn't take the dress without paying for it. Maybe there was some shared responsibility here, since the alarm didn't sound as I exited the store with my security tagged garment. So, I headed back to the store and I walked in with confidence. The alarm went off and I just kept walking. No one followed me or asked any questions. I marched right up to a sales person in the dress department and explained my situation. I took a deep breath and waited for her response. "No problem", she said. The store was having some difficulty with their tag system and I was probably one of the customers that went through security when it was de-activated. Whew. That was easy.

How many times have I done something or said something and someone else decided my intent (or the other way around)? Geez, there is so much distance we create between us and so many arguments and conflicts that could be avoided if we could just find a way to clearly explain our intent. Part of that, though, is for us to understand it within ourselves. I know I've asked myself, "Why did I say that"? or "What was I thinking?" when I've had a situation blow up in my face and I am surprised by it. Truth be told, sometimes I don't know or understand my motives. They can be complicated or reactive or even not very noble. Sometimes I have to think about something again and again to have it finally dawn on me what the heck I was doing and why. We are complicated beings and what we do and how we do it isn't always easy to understand. Balance comes for me when I stay open to that exploration and I allow it in others.