Day 54 - Ow, Ow, Ow - Don't Touch Me!

A massage can be heaven - or it can be hell. My last massage was hell. Holy Crap! I have never hurt so much during a "relaxing" massage as I did this last one. I hadn't gone in a while because I just can't seem to find a massage therapist who can get the knots out without it feeling like torture. So I asked who would be the best person to deal with my fibro stuff - that would be Steve. OK, Steve, lets see what you've got. We started the appointment with a general run down of my current sore spots and tight muscles and I warned him that there were places on my body that would scream at me if he was too rough. "No problem", says Steve. HA. Steve should be working out the Green Bay Packers or some other football team players  not sensitive little me. Unfortunately I signed on for ninety minutes of that nonsense. He worked his fingers into my muscles like he was digging for buried treasure. No style, no finesse, just rough and ineffective. I don't know what kept me on that table, except that I kept moving him from one place to another on my beat up body hoping it would get better. No more Steve for me.

There have been other times when practitioners wouldn't listen to me when I told them they were pushing too hard. Like the physical therapist who worked me out during our first session to a point of fatigue where I had to sleep in the parking lot before I could drive home. Or the other therapist who stressed my body so much I couldn't even drive myself and had to have someone pick me up. Or how about the acupuncturist that put in too many needles in me during our first session and I developed an off-the-chart migraine and was so sick my daughter had to come for me. Or the water aerobics instructor who worked with patients with chronic conditions and she knocked me out, too. Do any of these people know anything about fibro and chronic fatigue when they say they do?

I've got the kind of fibro pain that reminds me of a bee hive. Everything is calm until you go messing around with it. Then all the bees come storming out in a rage - ready to attack. My muscles are like that. Sometimes I don't even realize how much pain is simmering inside of them until I touch one of those parts that is super-sensitive. When the pain hits, it is hard and strong and then feels like it is just oozing into my muscles like liquid heat. My feet can be just fine, then I put some lotion on, and rubbing my instep causes a huge painful cramp. Or my calf muscles will be okay, but feel a little crampy. I'll rub along the bone and OW the pain just radiates up my leg. I know what hurts and what doesn't and when I go to a body work practitioner, I expect them to respect what I say and not go plowing ahead running their own agenda. I feel like I should wear a sign that says, "Don't touch - but if you must, go gently". My muscles need it and I deserve it!