Day 63 - Ever have a Bummer of a Day?

Today seemed to be a test of my resolve. It was a long drive to the fibro center and an even longer drive home. I was caught in New York City traffic and there is just no easy way around it. I'm confused about the timing of all these meds I'm taking and can't seem to figure out exactly when I should be taking each one. This morning I realized that I thought I was taking two of them and I hadn't even opened the seal on the bottle from when I picked them up last week. When I did my pill boxes I checked those two off my list but then never did sort them into the daily doses. Aaargh. I want to get this right, but when sorting pills is a problem - that's a problem. My hubby went to the nursing home to visit my brother last night to save me a trip, but then my brother called today all upset because he thinks I've deserted him. After a short conversation and reassuring him that my hubby's visit counts as a real visit, he settled down. I'm behind on just about every task at home from laundry to sorting mail and blah blah blah. It is so bo-oor-ing to complain but I am tired, tired, tired.

 

My usual strategy when my head is in this space is to take a step back, re-group then tackle something manageable. I am meeting my dear, sweet, son-in-law who is the male version of Martha Stewart organized. If anyone can get this med mess figured out - he can! So that makes me feel better. My hubby is in the kitchen grilling up some chicken for dinner and fixing dinner is now one less thing I have to do, and for that I am grateful. Today's pile of mail is sitting next to me and it's about four inches high. Yesterday's is still on the counter so this will go right on top of it and tomorrow is another day. So annoying. I don't like feeling frustrated and discouraged. I want to be upbeat and positive and look for the silver lining. There really isn't a great reason for me to feel a little down today - the sun was shining and nothing bad happened. It was just one of those days.

 

Ever since I could find information about it, I have read about the power of positive thinking. I believe in it. I also believe in what I call a rendezvous with reality. If I am to know myself and honor myself I have to be able to accept that I may not always be exactly on track. I can accept that I'm going to have a crummy day every now and then, and that I might not be a model, positive-thinking citizen. On a bad day I'm allowed to feel it, say it and experience it. When I can do that, it's more likely that the feeling will fade away. No sense in stuffing it. There is a time for putting on my happy face - and I do that well. But there's also a time when I don't have to be smiling - I can be mellow, frustrated, grumpy, unhappy or dissatisfied. What I can remember that it is just part of me and maybe just part of my day. I can live it, then let it go. My unhappiness or dissatisfaction deserves no less respect from me than my happiness. So now that I've written all of this down, I'm feeling a bit better. I think I'll go have my dinner, then have a nice visit with my son-in-law. It just might turn my day around. I'd like that.