I am a hormonal, right-brained, abstract person. That means I'm better at big picture thinking that's creative and open-ended than I am with organization, logical or linear thinking and details are not my strong suit. Add in fibro and forget it! I don't remember $*#! Most of the time I just brush it off and work around it. I know my strengths and I use them to manage the areas that are not so strong. I believe that we all keep learning and I am better at managing the details of life than I used to be. The problem is in conversations and in-the-moment thinking. Sometimes I get so far off it's embarrassing.
I remember one time when we were going to visit a place called Shelter Island. I looked at the map and said, "We have to cross two bridges and then we'll be there." We crossed a bridge and were in a little town. The post office said, Shelter Island, the fire station said, Shelter Island, and my hubby kept asking aren't we there yet? I said, "No, we have to cross another bridge". Now I need to remind you that I had been to Shelter Island many times before this and I have a terrific visual memory. But my brain got locked on the idea of those two bridges and literally would not process the new information. We finally got to the ferry - there was no second bridge and we left Shelter Island without me knowing we were there.
That instance of faulty thinking was more than frightening. I could not think my way out of the situation. There was evidence all around me that just wouldn't register. I was mortified, but luckily my husband is a gentle soul and he let me off the hook without making me feel like more of a jerk than I already did. But, that's the story of fibro-fog. When it hits I can't think clearly. Words get lost and sometimes, like on Shelter Island, my brain shifts me to a context and then nothing that's going on makes sense to me - but I don't know it until I shift back again. As for losing a word in conversation, friends say, "Oh that happens to me, too" and I know part of it is just run-of-the-mill brain burps. But for me, it's more. Even when I type - I start out typing one word and my brain shifts and it changes the word I'm typing so I wind up with randomly placed words throughout my documents. Believe me, my edits are frequent and I sometimes get a chuckle out of my brain's creativity!
But I want to choose when I am being creative and being clueless is not high on my list of ways I would like to be perceived. On my bad days I limit communication because it feels so energy draining because my words don't flow. When fibro-fog rolls in, nothing seems clear or easy to manage. Anything that has to do with details must wait for another day. This year I will explore strategies to relieve that kind of fuzzy thinking and I look forward to the day when the fog lifts and clarity returns.
I remember one time when we were going to visit a place called Shelter Island. I looked at the map and said, "We have to cross two bridges and then we'll be there." We crossed a bridge and were in a little town. The post office said, Shelter Island, the fire station said, Shelter Island, and my hubby kept asking aren't we there yet? I said, "No, we have to cross another bridge". Now I need to remind you that I had been to Shelter Island many times before this and I have a terrific visual memory. But my brain got locked on the idea of those two bridges and literally would not process the new information. We finally got to the ferry - there was no second bridge and we left Shelter Island without me knowing we were there.
That instance of faulty thinking was more than frightening. I could not think my way out of the situation. There was evidence all around me that just wouldn't register. I was mortified, but luckily my husband is a gentle soul and he let me off the hook without making me feel like more of a jerk than I already did. But, that's the story of fibro-fog. When it hits I can't think clearly. Words get lost and sometimes, like on Shelter Island, my brain shifts me to a context and then nothing that's going on makes sense to me - but I don't know it until I shift back again. As for losing a word in conversation, friends say, "Oh that happens to me, too" and I know part of it is just run-of-the-mill brain burps. But for me, it's more. Even when I type - I start out typing one word and my brain shifts and it changes the word I'm typing so I wind up with randomly placed words throughout my documents. Believe me, my edits are frequent and I sometimes get a chuckle out of my brain's creativity!
But I want to choose when I am being creative and being clueless is not high on my list of ways I would like to be perceived. On my bad days I limit communication because it feels so energy draining because my words don't flow. When fibro-fog rolls in, nothing seems clear or easy to manage. Anything that has to do with details must wait for another day. This year I will explore strategies to relieve that kind of fuzzy thinking and I look forward to the day when the fog lifts and clarity returns.
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