When my daughter was in high school she and her friends were on the phone a dozen times before they finalized their plans. Then, once they all got together something better seemed to come up and plans were changed again. It made my head spin keeping track of where she was and what she was doing. Part of me celebrated her sense of freedom and independence but at the same time I was trying to be a responsible parent. She had boundless energy and her change of plans was because there was so much fun to be had.
I feel like I have become the "Queen of Changed Plans", but not in that good way. Whatever I plan or choose to do depends on my body cooperating. We have all had a time or two that illness changed our plans, but fibro is different. It seems that within just one day I have to adjust what I can or cannot do according to how I'm feeling. I'll plan to stop at the store on the way home from work, but then get in the car and feel like I barely have enough energy to drive home. I'll plan to pay bills, but my double vision makes it impossible to concentrate. My hubby and I will plan to go out for dinner, but my energy is low so we stay in, once again. I make plans with friends and I back out because I'm fighting yet another migraine. It gets very frustrating and I have disappointed myself and others more times than I can count.
If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that I still need to make plans. I need to get out and about, I need to get tasks accomplished and I need to keep myself socially and emotionally connected. I rely on my computer to keep me in the conversation when I don't feel like talking. I make the most of time I have with friends by not spending it listing all my symptoms and complaints. I listen to what's important in what others have to say. In my own way, I show up and that's all I can ask of myself. I may need to change the plan from getting together to chatting on the phone or instead of a nice dinner out, takeout from a favorite restaurant, in. What I won't do is isolate myself and define my life around fibro. The plans may change, but I'm still making them.
I feel like I have become the "Queen of Changed Plans", but not in that good way. Whatever I plan or choose to do depends on my body cooperating. We have all had a time or two that illness changed our plans, but fibro is different. It seems that within just one day I have to adjust what I can or cannot do according to how I'm feeling. I'll plan to stop at the store on the way home from work, but then get in the car and feel like I barely have enough energy to drive home. I'll plan to pay bills, but my double vision makes it impossible to concentrate. My hubby and I will plan to go out for dinner, but my energy is low so we stay in, once again. I make plans with friends and I back out because I'm fighting yet another migraine. It gets very frustrating and I have disappointed myself and others more times than I can count.
If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that I still need to make plans. I need to get out and about, I need to get tasks accomplished and I need to keep myself socially and emotionally connected. I rely on my computer to keep me in the conversation when I don't feel like talking. I make the most of time I have with friends by not spending it listing all my symptoms and complaints. I listen to what's important in what others have to say. In my own way, I show up and that's all I can ask of myself. I may need to change the plan from getting together to chatting on the phone or instead of a nice dinner out, takeout from a favorite restaurant, in. What I won't do is isolate myself and define my life around fibro. The plans may change, but I'm still making them.
Plans for Florida in January? YES!!!!! Energetic or not, we will have fun!
ReplyDeleteLove you.