I went to the nursing home yesterday to visit my mother and my brother. I was in the elevator taking my brother downstairs for a coke. A family of three was waiting to get on the elevator and they were not a happy bunch! When the wife rolled the husband into the elevator she banged the wheelchair against the elevator frame. He snapped at her, the son snapped at him for snapping at her and then the son gave it to his mother for forgetting to pick up the insurance card that she left on the windowsill back in the dad's room. It was an uncomfortable few minutes, but I laughed to myself when I saw this adult son was wearing a hat with a stylized picture of Grumpy, the Disney Character. I kind of giggled and said, "I like your hat." The mom said, "We could all use one of those". I agree.
I could relate to the grumpiness and frustration of each family member. The dad, because he was not feeling well and didn't like his wife having to push him around in a wheelchair. I could relate to the mom who has to not only cope with her own caregiver issues, but whatever else she has going on and the son because he is dealing with aging parents and they are sniping at each other. Wow, all that grumpiness and sadness all rolled into that one little elevator. But really, wouldn't it be nice to have a hat to wear that warns our loved ones when we are grumpy and snippy and not feeling like our best selves?
I could have used one this morning. I woke up stiff, in pain, grumpy, tired and definitely not ready to communicate in any way close to civil. I need some time when I wake up to gather myself together and when the day starts with an issue before I can even get out of bed, it's just not good. I wish I could say I was always an image of sweetness and light, that I was always cheery and in good spirits, or that I was perpetually positive and in a good mood. But I'm not. I do make an effort to be warm and kind in my dealings with people who are close to me as well as everyone else who crosses my path during the day. But sometimes it just isn't in me. So maybe I'll get that hat, or use some kind of signal that warns people to proceed with caution. It will say that this lady, who is usually fun and nice, is feeling grumpy, frustrated, edgy, tired, discouraged, frightened, overwhelmed or stressed out. Come back later and I will be back to my better self and we will both feel better about our time together. I'll take off the "Grumpy" hat and replace it with one that says "Happy".
I could relate to the grumpiness and frustration of each family member. The dad, because he was not feeling well and didn't like his wife having to push him around in a wheelchair. I could relate to the mom who has to not only cope with her own caregiver issues, but whatever else she has going on and the son because he is dealing with aging parents and they are sniping at each other. Wow, all that grumpiness and sadness all rolled into that one little elevator. But really, wouldn't it be nice to have a hat to wear that warns our loved ones when we are grumpy and snippy and not feeling like our best selves?
I could have used one this morning. I woke up stiff, in pain, grumpy, tired and definitely not ready to communicate in any way close to civil. I need some time when I wake up to gather myself together and when the day starts with an issue before I can even get out of bed, it's just not good. I wish I could say I was always an image of sweetness and light, that I was always cheery and in good spirits, or that I was perpetually positive and in a good mood. But I'm not. I do make an effort to be warm and kind in my dealings with people who are close to me as well as everyone else who crosses my path during the day. But sometimes it just isn't in me. So maybe I'll get that hat, or use some kind of signal that warns people to proceed with caution. It will say that this lady, who is usually fun and nice, is feeling grumpy, frustrated, edgy, tired, discouraged, frightened, overwhelmed or stressed out. Come back later and I will be back to my better self and we will both feel better about our time together. I'll take off the "Grumpy" hat and replace it with one that says "Happy".
Love the hat idea. Years ago I had a signal for my roommate, Nancy, that basically said "I need some time to myself." Sometimes that meant I was grumpy, sometimes that meant I needed some alone time for reflection and introverted restoration. Chuck and I recently had a similar conversation, since both of us are stretched so thin these days and sometimes just need a bit of time to stay within our own heads. Strategies understood this way are great. Your expansion of the idea to say "I'm happy" adds another dimension that I really like.
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