Oh, whine, whine, whine. It's been one of those days and I am in no mood to be all sunshine and happiness. I have had a couple of days where my body was just screaming at me. Last night my whole body hurt and I was curled up on the couch wrapped in a heating pad, trying to take the edge off the pain. Then I was freezing cold all night because the heat went out again. My body does NOT like the cold! Not one bit. And it was a cold day yesterday, a cold night all night. The house didn't finally get warmed up until mid-morning and it took the rest of the day for my body to warm up. I don't feel like focusing on the positive and I don't feel like getting cleaned up and putting on my happy face today or making dinner. I just want to vent and complain.
Well, not really. What I really want is to feel better and I get frustrated when I have a bad day. Still, after all these years, a bad day ticks me off. I was talking with my Lady Doc today and we discussed the ways that I think I've improved over the past six months. What I do know is that today wasn't a terrible day - it was just a bad one. My off days used to be flat-out-sick-as-a-dog-no-energy-feeling-awful-not-able-to-lift-my-head-off-the-pilllow kind of a day. Not so today. Even though I didn't feel terrific, and spent the day on the couch, I made a healthy lunch, did a bit of work on the computer, did my doctor appointment (by phone) and got myself into a hot bath that finally warmed me up. I do feel somewhat better but my grumpiness hasn't gone away. Maybe a good night's sleep will turn that around.
Measuring my progress with fibro isn't an exact science. Some things are better, for sure. My blood work is showing real improvement, but I still feel like I have a way to go before I have my life back. Fatigue is still my biggest issue and I am also still concerned about my inability to have a regular schedule. My improvements are in the context of a reduced work schedule and social schedule, I'm still not exercising the way I want to or taking on projects that might be physically demanding. I am motivated to keep working on improvement and I am willing to continue to modify and adjust my schedule if it means I am getting better and stronger. If I give into a little whining every now and then, it won't stop my progress. I just have to make sure that I keep doing the right thing for my wellness, even though I'm being just a little bit grumpy about it.
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