Life is full of lessons - more lessons than I am sometimes willing to learn. But the lesson I learn again and again that gives me comfort, is that I am not alone. I don't necessarily mean the kind of I've-got-someone- beside-me kind of "not alone", but the very real fact that I am not alone in my journey. We are ALL, and I do mean ALL, working through something. We share with each other and we are healed. We connect with each other and we are strong. There is nothing like time together to help us to shed some of the troubles we carry, if even for just a little while and also to delight in the happiness we experience. Mothers "get" other mothers, students understand what their peers are experiencing, people in the same profession like to share their stories and feel like they are understood, and those of us battling illness need caring connections, too. I am not alone.
I've always been a pretty open person, but it took me a long time to be able to share the really tough stuff from my life - back when I was younger, it seemed to be important for me to be seen as happy and positive. But once I began to share more completely, I quickly and deeply realized that everyone is living a complex and rich story and we have a lot in common. I learned that there is no such thing as a perfect childhood and there are no perfect parents. I've yet to meet a person with a storybook childhood and the challenges we faced growing up are often the same challenges we face as adults. I thought that when I grew up things would be easier because I would be in charge. Instead I learned that even though life was happy, it could be very hard. My most challenging experiences were often my best teachers and managing a chronic condition continues to offer me new and important life lessons. But I can't do it alone.
When I began to research fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue I began to find internet sites where people shared their experiences. As those kinds of resources grew, I could see that a huge attraction to participating in the dialogue was twofold. People wanted to share their experience and they wanted to be there to offer support to others. It is powerful to be that connected. I have even noticed that when I visit my Lady Doc, those of us who have been in the waiting room together at other times begin a conversation that often starts with, "How are you doing?" That simple question opens the door to sharing and because we are on the same journey, it takes on almost an emotional short hand. We understand each other and our empathy comes from a true knowing of what it means to feel sick and tried a good part of the time. I like that I can be there for others as much as I appreciate people being there for me. When I extend myself I can gently pull someone out of their isolation and they can feel cared for and connected, too. We need each other to heal and to be strong.
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