Day 221 - I'm Feeling Your Pain

Babies express empathy. When one cries, others follow. The babies aren't sure why they are crying, but once one starts, they all wind up exercising their lungs in one big chorus.  Scientists are studying empathy and finding that it is soft wired in all of our brains. In studying infant brains, these scientists discovered that babies experience another baby's distress as if it is their own. Amazing. We all possess the ability to walk in another person's shoes, but because we would rather not, often we don't. It is easy to turn our heads away from another person's suffering and focus on our own wants and needs. But there is something amazing that happens when we feel the connection to our brothers and sisters as well as the creatures that inhabit the earth and the planet we all live on. I like to imagine the kind of world this would be if our hearts were filled with compassion, connection and empathy. I can't help but think it would be a better place for all of us to live.

I'm thinking about this today because I am struck by the number of people who suffer alone, even when they live in the midst of their family, co-workers, a neighborhood and a community. I wonder why empathy seems to be in such short supply when our culture spends so much time and energy laughing at other people's shortcomings, or sit as witness to their self-destruction as our entertainment. There are so many who suffer - not just from fibro or fatigue, but in ways that are just as challenging and more. I find that those who suffer most are often most willing to give empathy and support, even when it is in short supply for themselves. Maybe it is because they "get it" at a different level. 

Even when I am feeling my highest level of frustration or my lowest depth of  discouragement, there always seems to be someone or something that snaps me out of it. Sometimes it's as simple as a friend asking and really wanting to know how I am doing - not just with my fibro - but really wanting to know about how my life is going. I can tell that it is real interest because it turns into sharing stories about how we are in the same boat together - we empathize with each other. Or, it might come from something I read or listen to that seems to resonate on a deeper level that feels like connection and healing. It is easy to spend too much time cut off from the people who care about us most. I know that I have to check in regularly so that I know the connection is good and strong. I'm not always looking for empathy and understanding for myself - it's important that I be there for others as well. We all need that empathic connection - it's an emotional glue that holds it all together.