Day 197 - Am I spending Too Much Time Alone?

Last night my hubby told me that tomorrow begins his "lost weekend". To him that means he has to go into work both Saturday and Sunday. He's doing work on a fundraising activity and he helps with the set up then on Sunday the event happens and he stays around for part of the cleanup. I miss his company when he has to work that way, but I have to admit I am looking forward to a weekend mostly by myself. It doesn't bother me one bit to be alone and I already have a few things in my head that I want to do with my "free" time. One thing I will plan is time for nothing - that's always a favorite with me!

 

Recently I've been wondering if I'm liking my time alone a little bit too much. Am I starting to isolate myself or am I just simply taking care of myself and reducing my stress and the energy I'm expending? It's something to consider. I sometimes feel that it's just easier not to take the risk of over-doing and other times I just would rather be by myself if I'm not feeling my best ( which is at least part of most days). I don't feel lonely when I'm by myself and I also don't see myself increasing my social time. I guess I'll know when I'm ready to take on more social time when that motivation kicks in. Until then I will be watchful and pay attention to my inner compass to guide me. I do not want to isolate myself and I do not want to spend more time alone that I have to.

 

I gain energy when I am around people who have a sense of humor, love life, are excited about their world and who have empathy for their own story and for the lives of others. I gain energy from people who are confident, expressive, interesting and who are interested in others. I love to be with people who love to be with people. I am concerned that talking about my health issues (even when asked) is enormously boring and not something people want to hear. That is especially true when I am feeling increased frustration with my fibro and fatigue. I don't want to burden or bore my friends and family but when I am really feeling rotten it's all I can think about. So, I stay away from too much social time and when I do a get-together I express myself honestly and try not to dwell on the negatives. If I am feeling down, I try to turn the conversation around so that it's not all about me. So for now, as long as I am not isolating myself, alone is just fine.