I am having a really hard time getting my brain around a blog for today. I had a few starts and stops last night and I tried again this morning - but nothing is coming to me. I am really tired today and my brain just doesn't seem to be firing on all cylinders. So, I am going to take myself off the hook. I am going to let this go and know that is it okay for me to not have an idea. I am sharing this because I think it is important to let ourselves off the hook when we just can't get something done. Or if it's done late, or even done at not quite the same standard that others have come to expect from us. I haven't been very good at letting myself off the hook. I certainly have my days when not much gets done. But those things never come OFF my list - they just get saved for another day. When something isn't as good as it can be, I notice it and I have caught myself continuing to think about it for longer than I should. If I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, once I have made my amends, I have to let it go. I often remember those small instances long after others have forgotten.
I had an interesting phone conversation the other day. My college is having a reunion and I was going to call a few women that were part of my group back then. The first call was to someone I liked and we had a nice relationship, although we weren't the best of friends. One day, when we were at school, she was feeling homesick and we were talking about it over lunch. I had my cute Little Blue Beetle, which I loved to drive, so I offered to drive her home for the afternoon so she could see her family. We hopped into my car and off we went and it was all-in-all a very pleasant afternoon. I felt like I had done something good for someone and I got to drive my car for nearly four hours round-trip. As we chatted the other night, I bought up that memory (which has stayed with me for more years than I 'd like to count). She didn't remember it - not one little glimmer of recollection. Hmmm. So there you go, what I thought was such a big deal was just a small blip on her radar. What happens in the moment stays in the moment, except when it doesn't.
We can't choose what we will remember or forget as we go through life with all of its mini dramas. And we certainly can't count on someone else to remember every little thing that happens. I bring this up because we can get really wrapped up in the little stuff, stuff that doesn't mean all that much and in the great scheme of things is really insignificant. So if I choose to let something go, or let myself off the hook, it probably isn't as big a deal as I think it is. I just need to remember to do it with kindness, clarity, without whining and to not put someone else ON the hook I just removed myself from! I am getting better at seeing opportunities to let things go and to not beat myself up over it afterwards. Instead I can use that energy to get healthier and to give my self a little boost when something gets off the list for good! Oh, and I guess the idea for a blog did come after all.
I had an interesting phone conversation the other day. My college is having a reunion and I was going to call a few women that were part of my group back then. The first call was to someone I liked and we had a nice relationship, although we weren't the best of friends. One day, when we were at school, she was feeling homesick and we were talking about it over lunch. I had my cute Little Blue Beetle, which I loved to drive, so I offered to drive her home for the afternoon so she could see her family. We hopped into my car and off we went and it was all-in-all a very pleasant afternoon. I felt like I had done something good for someone and I got to drive my car for nearly four hours round-trip. As we chatted the other night, I bought up that memory (which has stayed with me for more years than I 'd like to count). She didn't remember it - not one little glimmer of recollection. Hmmm. So there you go, what I thought was such a big deal was just a small blip on her radar. What happens in the moment stays in the moment, except when it doesn't.
We can't choose what we will remember or forget as we go through life with all of its mini dramas. And we certainly can't count on someone else to remember every little thing that happens. I bring this up because we can get really wrapped up in the little stuff, stuff that doesn't mean all that much and in the great scheme of things is really insignificant. So if I choose to let something go, or let myself off the hook, it probably isn't as big a deal as I think it is. I just need to remember to do it with kindness, clarity, without whining and to not put someone else ON the hook I just removed myself from! I am getting better at seeing opportunities to let things go and to not beat myself up over it afterwards. Instead I can use that energy to get healthier and to give my self a little boost when something gets off the list for good! Oh, and I guess the idea for a blog did come after all.
Great post! Love the gentleness that you are showing yourself. There's a self-assessment on self-compassion which you might find interesting. Check it out here: http://www.self-compassion.org/how_self-compassionate_are_you.html
ReplyDeleteLet me know what you think.
Love you!
Kathleen