I have learned a big and important lesson. If I do not take care of myself there is no one that can do it for me. But on the other hand, I know for sure there is no way to recover from an enormous challenge without significant support. I have had the support of my dear family and friends, my Lady Doc and the wonderful staff in her office, and the incredible people at work who have never made me feel "less than" when I could no longer meet my responsibilities. I have also found enormous support in groups of individuals who are experiencing the same challenges I face on a daily basis. The fact that they open themselves up and share their experience with courage and honesty invites me to open up and share as well. My spiritual practices support me in listening to my inner voice and knowing that there is a Higher Power that I can draw from and give thanks to. I appreciate the doctors, researchers and authors who have dedicated their careers to asking the questions that give me the answers I seek about my medical condition. I can take better care of myself because I am surrounded by emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual support.
I wonder if people really know how important their support is. Little things mean a lot - whether it's a word of comfort or reassurance, or a bit of time spent together. The friend that pops up in an instant message and allows me a conversation without having to expend the energy of a phone conversation is wonderful. I love emails and all the exchange on social network sites that keep me connected without having to leave the couch. Friends who check in just to make sure I'm not lonely are a blessing. My sister has been a wonderful support and has even read each of my blogs this year. A best friend from childhood understands when I'm not in touch for a while and she always seems to reach out just when I can use a friend. My work buddies are like a shot of adrenaline. They keep me sharp and on my toes and nobody makes me laugh the way they do. My friends and co-workers have always been willing to lend a hand and go the extra mile. My Lady Doc is a fantastic listener and I have never once felt rushed or unable to finish my long list of questions and concerns at each visit. My fibro-friends have been compassionate and supportive because they really get where I am and I hope I extend sufficient empathy to them, too. And finally I just wouldn't be able to survive without my hubby and kids. They have my back and I know they would go to the ends of the earth even without my asking them to.
During this year of focus on recovery I have counted my blessings many times over. The support I feel keeps me grounded and allows me to focus on getting stronger and healthier without worrying that I am going to lose my friends and family because they can't handle the challenges they face in walking this path with me. I like to think that part of the reason I have such a strong support system is that when the significant people in my life have needed me - I have been there for them, so they are happy to return the favor. I know that if I need to talk, there is someone who will listen. If I need to cry there will be a shoulder nearby and I can lean into the strength that is being offered to me. When I am ready to play and burn up some of my adrenaline filled energy I have buddies that will step right up. I have always thought of myself as independent, so needing support the way I now do, is not something I was willing to admit to. But now that I am deep into my battle, it is reassuring to know that I am not alone. I feel connected and supported by people who truly care that I am okay. They show up for me whether I am flat out or upright, having a good day or a miserable one. I feel connected and that's what support is all about for me.
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