Day 33 - What Can I Say Yes to?

I remember the days of getting together with girlfriends or making new friends doing some good in my community. There was lots of fun connected with doing something worthwhile. I've never had tons of time for volunteering, but the things I did felt satisfying and they worked in my life. Lately, I haven't been doing much volunteer work. But, the little bit I'm doing is important to me and I want to keep it going. The problem I run into is that once I start with an organization it feels like there is pressure to be involved more, do more and to commit to more time because they have enormous need. It's just not possible for me and I don't feel really good about that.

It happened again this weekend. I went to a luncheon for a group I've done some volunteer work with. I was asked to serve on an additional committee and I declined, saying that I was still dealing with fibro issues. The president of the group responded with,"But you look terrific". This was after oversleeping, waking with a flaming migraine, downing a handful of supplements and meds, doing an abbreviated morning routine so I could get out of the door on time and having a little pity party in the middle of it all. There are days that I just can't keep the cheery face going, but on the other hand, I don't want to go around looking all sick and pitiful. I want to be authentic, but I really don't care to go into details about how I'm feeling every day.

When I am asked to do tasks beyond what I'm already doing, I get cautious. I hate it when I've made a promise that I can't keep, so I am slow to make promises. Once I have made a commitment, I will push myself, even when I shouldn't, so I have learned to say no early on so expectations stay realistic. When organizations ask for my time, I will offer a donation instead. If I can't do a donation or volunteer my time I will simply say ,"I'm sorry , but not at this time." End of discussion. As I start to feel better during this recovery process I am going to be very careful about what gets added back in my life. Giving to others is important to me. I will choose to give my time to activities that give my life meaning and I will give that time and energy freely, joyfully and with the promise that I will show up because I am strong enough to do it!